If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
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