Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
