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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
