Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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