Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
