You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
