Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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