so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
