You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
