Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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