Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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