wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
