maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
