The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
