Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
