you mean i was at the winter classic?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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