maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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