She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
