Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
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