roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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