I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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