Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I checked into jail on foursquare
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
