Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
