Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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