i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
