Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
