We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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