He had one of those small greek statue penises
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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