8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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