what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
