garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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