I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
