he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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