4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
