is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
