I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
