I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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