if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
