Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
