i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
