Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
