your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I smell stomach acid.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
