be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
