We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Operation Purity has been aborted
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
