at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
