my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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