brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize
