I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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