im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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