so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
