just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize