Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sponge bath it is.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
